View the video and comments via the Shine on Social Without Selling Your Soul Facebook group HERE


Are you done with the slimy, icky, sleazy feelings that come up whenever you think about selling your services?

Then this post is written for you!

If you’re anything like me, I know that when you started your business you did it out of LOVE for what you do and your ability to make a difference (hello, heart-centred entrepreneur!).

But I also know from the conversations I have in my DMs and on discovery calls that so many of us have a life-long perception where we associate ‘selling’ with icky, dodgy techniques. Even reading about selling probably brings up an experience or memory of when you were ‘sold to’,- an experience I’m guessing that you didn’t like the feeling of at all.

Naturally, when it comes to selling your services and products you don’t want to make other people feel that way too, right?

The thing is, this belief can create a block towards sharing our products and services with our customers – aka selling what we do and how we help. (You might even feel resistance in your body now just from reading this!)

You and I both know that a business is not really a business if it doesn’t make sales. I want you to know that you don’t EVER have to move into that slimy sales energy to make an abundance of sales in your business, in fact, you can most definitely feel GREAT about the idea of selling.

And I’ll let you in on a secret: I didn’t always feel super positive about selling either.

But these days my view is that it’s the *best* possible thing I can do to serve my people.

By the time you’ve finished reading this, you’ll be able to understand why and embody that belief too!

Ok, let’s go…


Feel-good selling tip #1 – Connection before conversion

Have you ever gone into a discovery call with this thought top of mind:

‘How am I going to be able to convert this person to a customer/client by the end of this call?’

With all the online conversations about conversion percentages, closing on discovery calls, etc, it’s easy to end up a bit obsessed with ‘conversion rates’, but it’s not where your focus needs to be.

I’m not saying that caring about ‘conversion’ is a bad thing – after all, that’s how we generate clients!

But how about this instead: focus on connecting first. Make the ways in which you can connect with your peeps a priority rather than being consumed with making the sale.

Whenever I’m having a conversation with a potential client or interacting with anyone in my business, I’m always looking at forming a connection first.

What does this actually look like?

…asking questions.

…getting to know them.

…having conversations where you truly listen.

Truly listening means not getting caught up with thoughts about ‘what do I say next? How do I get this potential client to like me? How do I come across as smart/intelligent/capable?’, but instead listening with the full intent to understand.

(If you’re a coach, you have a massive advantage at this because you already know how to listen to people!)

When you focus on connecting at that deeper level, you naturally become aware of what that person actually needs and if they have a problem that you can help solve – and we are all in the business of solving problems for our people.

If what that person actually needs is you and your services, it’s going to be SO much easier to share exactly how you can support them.

This approach puts you 100% into the energy of service. Can you see how this energy is TOTALLY different from selling to someone when you know you can’t support them in the way they need?

Focus on connection before conversion and you’ll be able to build a business that serves your people, gives them the solutions they want, and develops your reputation for being an amazing service provider. And THAT, beauty, is how you build an incredible business!


Feel-good selling tip #2 – Identify the promo that feels good

To build a sustainable, successful business – whether it’s online or offline and regardless of what niche you’re in – marketing in some form is essential.

But the kind of marketing you do is completely up to you!

We’re surrounded by messages like, ‘I made six figures through this one funnel’, and, ‘I was able to build and grow my community because of this ONE thing’, but let me tell you – the days of cookie-cutter formulas for business success are long. Gone. If you’re a coach and you look at leading successful coaches, you’re not going to find one unifying thing that they have all done that shot them through the stratosphere or completely changed their business.

What this means that instead of looking for the ultimate ‘one-size-fits all’, you need to figure out what kind of marketing YOU feel connected with.

Once you experiment and explore and determine what works best for you, selling is going to feel so much more natural when you’re doing it in a way that aligns with your strengths. It’s going to be much easier to stay in the energy you need and promote your products and services in a way that feels good.

A little word of warning here: ‘aligning with strengths’ doesn’t mean allowing your fear to take over. And there’s a difference between something feeling natural, and something feeling comfortable.

Take a moment to recognise if mental chatter like this comes up:

‘I don’t need to do live video, I’ve just never been good at public speaking… I’ll just choose other things…’

When you allow these thoughts to run the show, you deprive yourself of the chance to grow and discover something new in yourself. I challenge you to check in with yourself to discover whether something is not a good fit for you, or whether it’s fear talking.

Here’s a great question to ask:

‘If I’m operating out of love over fear, what is the best way to connect with my ideal client?’

When I ask myself this question and I’m honest with my answer, here’s what I come up with: it’s through showing up on video, pitching myself to speak on stages, sharing on IG stories, and showing my face to my community. That is the energy that I need to most be in to connect with my people.

What’s yours?


Feel-good selling tip #3 – Sell with permission

This point I can’t claim as my own, as Seth Godin (one of the world’s best brains in marketing!) came up with this concept! It is SO worth sharing.

Here’s Seth’s definition of permission marketing:

Permission marketing is the privilege (not the right) of delivering anticipated, personal and relevant messages to people who actually want to receive them.”

You can think of selling with permission to be a bit like dating. You don’t ask for the sale straight off!

You start by making a good impression and you earn the right over time to ask for a second date.

You earn that privilege, bit by bit.

Here are a couple of examples of permission:

  • Someone signing up for your emails.
  • Someone who engages with you in your DMs.

And here’s an example of what permission marketing ISN’T:

  • Sliding into someone’s DMs and without a conversation, pitching you on their products or services.

That person hasn’t cultivated a relationship with you, so they haven’t earned the right to sell to you. If this has happened to you, then you can recall the icky feeling that brings up, right?

Permission marketing is about giving people the opportunity to be warmed up to you.

It means when someone has signed up for your emails and accesses the valuable content you create, they WANT to hear from you. Their continued presence gives you permission to say, ‘hey, this is how I can support you’.

This is something to remind yourself of next time you’re about to share a post on your feed or email your list about your services!

These three feel-good ways to sell (without any sight of sleaze) show why it’s so important to show up for your community, continue to get to know your people over time, and create that connection and permission to then sell your products and services.

Want to find out more about how to best connect with your people on social media? Take the Shine on Social quiz to discover how you shine on social media based on your personality!


Big love,




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Comment *